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24 years old. Paraprofessional at Dade Elementary School. Roll Tide!

Monday, December 16, 2013

It's been too long. I mean, wayyy too long.

So I recently decided to check this blog...just to see when my last post was...it's been OVER a year and a half and that is just insane!

The past year and half has been crazy. I couldn't even BEGIN to tell you guys (if anyone ever reads this) what has happened. It's been way too much.

For one, 2 of our best friends (Alyshia & JK) got married back in April...and when that happened everything kind of went downhill for our social activities. On top of that, Blake recently got a job at EPB and now works every day but Sunday and Monday. So that puts a damper on any activities for me on Saturday nights (except church, of course.) Most everyone else in our old crew have grown up as well. They're either married and starting families of their own or at least dating very seriously. It's kind of depressing, I must admit. I'm still sitting here (impatiently) waiting for my turn. (Not a pity party, I promise. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.)

 I am in my VERY last semester of school...I believe once these holidays are over I will be officially thrown into the real world. I guess it is way past time for that... (I'll be 23 in April. I mean really? TWENTY-THREE!). I'll have my medical transcription certificate as well as my medical assistant certificate so that should hopefully be a plus on the job search. I'm so ready to be done with school though...I'm extremely burnt out!!! I am a substitute teacher at NSM and Bryant though, so that's good for extra money. It does stink that they only get paid at the end of the month though! It's an extremely long wait, and then the money is gone in no time. Sigh. I guess that's why I need a real job now. Plus, I do really want to help out if I ever do find the right person and decide to get married. I don't want him to feel like a work horse, you know?

I also paint canvases as an extra money/calming therapeutic time for me. I truly love to paint. I've always wanted to try it out...kinda felt like I may have a knack for it and I think I really might! It's very soothing and when I'm stressed I can see where it helps to calm me down.

It's almost Christmas now and I can't believe this year. In some ways, I feel like it has went by SO quickly...but when I think of all the things that have taken place this year, I feel like it's taken FOREVER to be over. I'm not ready for this new year though. I'm not ready for 2014. I don't know why...I just wish this year would last a few more months. I feel like I haven't got all I've needed from it yet.

I truly thought that this year might be different. Maybe I would get a good job in 2013. Maybe even finally find "The One"...most of all, maybe I would receive the holyghost. I know, I know, it's no ones fault but my own on 2 of those things..and I'm sure you know which ones I'm speaking of.

I thought maybe, just maybe, things might be working out for me there for a little while. I had found someone I truly cared about and I honestly thought he cared about me too. I guess I was wrong, since it didn't last. He's my kind of guy though, truly. He has had a rough past, but he's making up for it now. He loves the Lord as much as he can at the moment and I know he is really trying his hardest to do the right thing. I think I cared for him a lot more than he cared for me. I mean, that's okay. I would rather be that girl who puts herself out there a little than the one who holds back all of the time and never gives anyone a chance. And I PROMISE you I am not writing this to get sympathy, or pity or even attention...I'm just using this blog for what it is made for...to post my thoughts and feelings for the world to see. I guess I shouldn't do that, but I can't help it. I'm a "venter" in the worst way and this is about as good of a medium as you can get.

Anyhow, if anyone is reading this, thanks for being loyal. I know it's been a long time but maybe I can get back into the swing of things and figure this out. And maybe one day, I will have some good news to share. (I'm still holding on to that little bit of hope!) You guys are the best.

As always,


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